Hipsters, oh God how I hate them!

nerds vs hipsters


Rage, that is my typical response to “hipsters”. I can’t sit in a conversation with one without the strong desire to choke them out. They act better than you…about literally everything. You like Star Wars, well they liked it before you did. Hell, I think they are born with an inborn desire to just think that everyone who isn’t them is behind the curve. All of that to say, I can’t stand hipster gamers! They are the worst gamers, ever. They piss me off more than the guy who starts a rule fight every session. At least you can invoke Rule 0 to shut him the hell up. 

If you have never gamed with a “hipster” then bravo (insert applause here). If you have, then you know what I am getting ready to talk about. Hipster gamers know everything about the game you are playing. I mean that. They know EVERYTHING, or at least they think they do. They were playing D&D before it was “cool” (disclaimer: I really was playing D&D before it was cool, way back in 1994). Of course, to them before it was cool was 2003. They also think that WoW is “role-playing”. They spend hours attempting to tell all the other gamers about how much time they spent playing games, rather than simply just playing the one in front of them. 

Before the “hipster revolution” (whatever the fuck that means) there were only true gamers. The guys who played RPGs to have fun and for the social aspects of them. I mean, gamers still fought over which system was the best and what game they should run that weekend, but it was a pure hobby. It wasn’t infected by a bunch of pseudo-nerds who thought that being a “nerd” made them cool. I was nerdy and it wasn’t cool, but I just didn’t care. I played D&D because I had fun, not because I wanted people to like me. 

If you ever run across these people, kick them from your games. Not for the sake of your sanity (that is another good reason to do that) but for the sake of your game! They suck. They can’t play worth a shit, and they actually convince themselves they can. They insult (or are an insult to) everyone who suffered for years for the sake of the hobby. They take up hours of your time and energy telling you why your game could be better. 

In short, please help me to destroy these gamers! They need to be rounded up and ousted from the hobby. They have infected it like a cancer and it is time to cull the infection. 

Tell me your horror stories about the hipsters who have invaded your table and how you dealt with them. Revolution ho!


12 thoughts on “Hipsters, oh God how I hate them!

  1. Can’t we just go back to calling them what they really are: Posers.

    Or is that too dated of a word that I’ve dusted off from my high school days of grunge and goth; being an outcast for what I liked; playing Magic the Gathering, D&D, Vampire the Masquerade, etc.; and not really caring what anyone else thought?

    Posers (or poseurs, if you prefer) who were the only ones who could afford band shirts and yet couldn’t name said band’s songs or only knew the tracks played on the radio?

    I hear tell of folks reclaiming the name hipster, or something like that, who really did know a band or a game or whatever first. But if they hoarded it for their own and cast it aside when it grew popular, by all means, let’s brand them hipster or something equally disdainful.

    As gamers we should strive to be more like Prometheus, bringing the joy of the games and shows and hobbies we love to others, but willingly, not forced proselytizing.

    But, anyways, I digress…

    What I mean to say is that regardless of what we name them or how much they want to flex their geek muscles to establish their place in their gaming group’s pecking order, is that when and if we can get them to quit preening and start playing, most of them can be quite alright. It’s the arduous task of getting them to play the game, instead of them geeking out over their latest zealous fandom that will so quickly be replaced by something else more inane than the last, that proves to be the hard part.

    Firefly this and Doctor Who that. Which pony are you? Hey, let’s make these kinds of characters. No, these ones!

    Guys, can we just play a game for a change? You can babble about your other interests later. Some of us are on a tight schedule and would like to actually game on -game night-. If you’re not feeling it, cancel the session before I drive over.

    Moral of the story. We all need to trade our geek equivalent of war stories from time to time, but taking the time to make new ones is even better.

    • You are just like the hipsters we are talking about, Dave. Doesn’t matter who played first, he’s saying he didn’t notice d&d become popular until 2003. I hate these conversations because everybody that is giving the hipsters crap is just sinking to their level. Every time. “I’ve been a fan much longer than you have.” “No, Ive literally been a fan since before you were born!” Only one of them is correct, but they are now both annoying as crap.

  2. Wasn’t there some movie lately about a DM who lives in his Grandma’s basement and a hipster joins his game and forms a coup? I dislike intensely hipsters too but your comments totally brought that movie to mind. If my memory wasn’t for crap I’d give you name of it…it was an indie film out of Austin.

  3. I started playing RPG’s in 1988. I was 12 and learned how to play Car War, though not technically an RPG, it was a game that my older brother introduced me to that opened the doors to D&D. I have been playing ever since. At times have had the fortune of a girlfriend or three who have played with me as well. I agree that it’s sad our society is so fragmented and seeking for some sort of bullshit identity that they’re afraid to be themselves and just be happy.

    Good article, thanks!

  4. Those that play with me know that I’ll toss anyone from the table/room as I see fit. If you slow the game down with endless stories of nonsense, or you make it uncomfortable for others, I’ll just tell you to STFU and get out. Better to nip it early than let it persist for the sake of more players. Hell, I’d rather have 3 good players than 4 with one d-bag. Game on!

  5. To be honest, there’s an element of ‘me thinks the lady doth protest too much’ here.

    As I see it, there’s two types of games out there, those I will like and those I won’t. The same applies to rule sets. Those I that do what I want, and those that don’t. I don’t feel the need to enforce this opinion on others. If it does what I need, that’s everything I need to know. If we start assigning labels to every single type of bad players out there, we’re just as bad as the posers on some level.

    I’m not afraid to ask people to leave my games, yet I’m glad I’ve not to be honest. I believe it’s the sign of a superior game master, that they can work their campaign so it does things that please both the person running it and the people playing it. I had a little war with a former player about how he wanted to do things, I still stand my position that he wasn’t taking the right attitude about it, due to the time the game was set, a psuedo medieval world on the harder side of fantasy hardness.

    That being said, I did take a few steps back and reworked some elements, made a new NPC and mostly solved the issues. Kicking him would have been easier, the lessons learned about game mastering, much more important and valuable in my mind.

    It’s about balance, some people want it as players, some game masters think some potential players want it, some game masters want no balance. I think at the end of the day, we as fans of the hobby have to co-operate over the screen, in spite of the screen. I have a few requests, preferences, I ask them for a reason. Ignore them at your peril. Don’t try to tell me the type of game I want to run, talk to me about the themes, ideas you want to explore with your character, this particular character. I’ll help you along the way.

    Honestly, let people have a bit of a geek out every so often, make sure there’s a session out there just for fun. Balance is the key here, if you’re going down a dark road, shine the occasional light. If it’s a pretty light and fluffy path, make sure it’s going to please everyone. Don’t kill characters when they’ve done nothing wrong except the concept behind them isn’t fit for the game.

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