Rage, that is my typical response to “hipsters”. I can’t sit in a conversation with one without the strong desire to choke them out. They act better than you…about literally everything. You like Star Wars, well they liked it before you did. Hell, I think they are born with an inborn desire to just think that everyone who isn’t them is behind the curve. All of that to say, I can’t stand hipster gamers! They are the worst gamers, ever. They piss me off more than the guy who starts a rule fight every session. At least you can invoke Rule 0 to shut him the hell up.
If you have never gamed with a “hipster” then bravo (insert applause here). If you have, then you know what I am getting ready to talk about. Hipster gamers know everything about the game you are playing. I mean that. They know EVERYTHING, or at least they think they do. They were playing D&D before it was “cool” (disclaimer: I really was playing D&D before it was cool, way back in 1994). Of course, to them before it was cool was 2003. They also think that WoW is “role-playing”. They spend hours attempting to tell all the other gamers about how much time they spent playing games, rather than simply just playing the one in front of them.
Before the “hipster revolution” (whatever the fuck that means) there were only true gamers. The guys who played RPGs to have fun and for the social aspects of them. I mean, gamers still fought over which system was the best and what game they should run that weekend, but it was a pure hobby. It wasn’t infected by a bunch of pseudo-nerds who thought that being a “nerd” made them cool. I was nerdy and it wasn’t cool, but I just didn’t care. I played D&D because I had fun, not because I wanted people to like me.
If you ever run across these people, kick them from your games. Not for the sake of your sanity (that is another good reason to do that) but for the sake of your game! They suck. They can’t play worth a shit, and they actually convince themselves they can. They insult (or are an insult to) everyone who suffered for years for the sake of the hobby. They take up hours of your time and energy telling you why your game could be better.
In short, please help me to destroy these gamers! They need to be rounded up and ousted from the hobby. They have infected it like a cancer and it is time to cull the infection.
Tell me your horror stories about the hipsters who have invaded your table and how you dealt with them. Revolution ho!