I have only run into this problem twice in my GMing career. Both times it has been a pain in my ass to do. It is not fun, it is not easy and most of all it just sucks. You want to have people in your games and you really want to get it to work out, even when it is painfully obvious that it isn’t going to. I have come to a three-pronged approach with this latest situation. These “steps” (for lack of a better word) can help to ease the problem of booting a problem player:
1.) Get the other players opinions: This is the first thing I did after I began to think about kicking my problem player. It is amazing how other players see the trouble player. In my case the player is causing inter-player conflict, to include with me (the DM). Most of the players saw this unique problem and agreed that it is best to have the problem player leave (without a choice) than to risk the group falling apart due to his rules mongering.
2.) Be tactful when dealing with the player being removed: Removing a player is a delicate situation. I have no ill will towards my problem player. I really just want him to find a group that he meshes with better than ours. We are more about telling a great story, with the rules being secondary to that. He wants to focus on the rules, rules, rules. That may be great for somebody else, but I have no time to be spending 1/3 of the session looking up rulings. You have to tell them bluntly that they are being removed but do it with enough tact so they understand that it is not personal.
3.) Look outside of your group for advice: Don’t just ask your group for how this should be handled. Look also to other experienced DMs, friends who play a lot or even just people who are good with dealing with others. Get as much advice as you can and then proceed from there. Ensure that you are on proper footing and that you are not overreacting.
What are some other steps that can be taken when telling someone why they are being booted from your group? Do you agree with these steps? As always guys, don’t be a dick!